10-4 Magazine October 2023

The Veteran’s View: By Dennis Mitchell Ahhh! Don’t you just love these cooler nights and the fresh smell of wood smoke from the bonfire? That is unless you live in one of those areas that have been overrun with wildfire or live south of the Canadian border. But I still look forward to fresh popped corn on the open fire along with a tall glass of cold apple cider. Nothing says “fall is here” like the sound of friends gathering to celibate whatever occasion they dream up. Here on the farm, we celebrated, “I finished all of my fall maintenance!” Don’t feel left out – it was a small get together – just Aunt Barb, Penny the Pooch, and myself. We piled up some leftover dunage (that’s what we call lumber from my trailer), poured diesel on it, and threw in a few firecrackers to get it going. Here’s a Public Service Announcement... don’t try this at home unless you are an experienced fire starter. Then, we roasted a few dogs, some marshmallows, and popped the corn. After the fire burned down, we stretched out under the stars and started dreaming up more cool stuff to do. I can’t believe October is already here. For those of you who live north of the 40, that means the white stuff won’t be far off. I hope you are prepared for it. You might want to get out those old rusted tire irons and drag them around the driveway a couple times to loosen them up and then find where you stored the repair links. Rule of thumb: it is a lot easier to repair them in the yard than on the hill. The same goes for your survival kit. It never fails – I store mine in the shop, and some mouse finds it and turns it into a homeless rodent shelter. It doesn’t hurt to stop by Goodwill and pick up some spare clothing to keep in the truck just in case some unsuspecting wayward travelers find their way into snow country wearing short pants and no shoes. We have all seen them – they load up and head up never thinking about what they will do if the road closes and they get stranded. I usually keep a couple bags of M&Ms in the cab to stave off hunger and keep my energy up (it’s also a great help to the folks who have kids in the car and no food with them). Plus, it’s great entertainment (for me) to load them up with sugar and watch them bounce around between the windows and drive their folks nuts. I’m a bad man, and I’m easily humored. You are probably wondering how I came up with this month’s article title. Well, let me explain. We were gathered for a social event when I noticed a few young men, boys actually, looking at a tractor-trailer combo parked in the driveway. It was apparent that one was a bit familiar with how trucks worked, so he was showing the others what he knew. When they got to the fifth wheel, he wasn’t having any luck conveying how it worked so he said (you will always hear the greatest words out of the mouth of babes), “It’s the hooker-upper thing that makes the trailer follow back there.” Sometimes I think people should just say what they think instead of giving things a name that has nothing to do with its function. So, the next time you can’t remember what the fifth wheel is called, just call it the hooker-upper thing. Now that we have had a little fun with this, let’s get serious about your responsibilities for maintenance, and what some of the signs are that indicate you need to make adjustments or clean things up a bit. All of us do the pre-trip inspections required by the DOT, right? Well, some of you might be doing a better job of inspecting than others. I don’t mean giving the king pin a quick tug when you hook up, I’m asking if you ever really look over the fifth wheel? Do you know how it works? Yes, it’s that hooker-upper thing, but what is it that hooks and how do you know if it needs to be repaired or replaced? I’m going to tell you a story about a driverwhowasmindinghis ownbusiness, driving on a very rough section of road 54 10-4 Magazine / October 2023 THE HAPPY HOOKER!