Desert Health News - January-February 2025

Criticism is the act of noticing a problem within your relationship and turning it into a commentary of your partner’s character. Criticism is different from a complaint as a complaint focuses on the actual issue and can be helpful in dealing with resentment over time. • An example of a complaint: “I amso tired at the end of the day, and it is frustrating for me to encounter a sink full of dirty dishes!” • An example of criticism: “Why do you always leave the dishes in the sink? Once again, you never care about me and how tired I am!” The complaint focuses on the problem — the dirty dishes — while criticism turns the partner into the problem. Once that happens, your partner will probably respond defensively and the conversation may escalate into conflict. Defensiveness is a reaction to perceived criticism and escalates conflict rather than resolving it. A defensive person may react to the dirty dishes by: • Seeing themselves as a victim: “You are always critical of me and never notice all the things I do right.” • Counter-criticizing: “I’ll do the dishes when you start cleaning up the dog droppings in the yard. It’s a mess.” • Overexplaining: “I started to do the dishes and the phone rang. Next, I found we are out of detergent and added it to the shopping list. Then I got interrupted by…” Contempt is perhaps the most corrosive of Gottman’s four horsemen and can manifest as sarcasm, cynicism or name-calling. It is fueled by simmering negative thoughts about your partner that then lead to using shame and mean-spirited www.DesertHealthNews.com January/February 2025 Medical News The Valley ' s Leading Resource for Health and Wellness 4 Continued on page 17 www.promedxp.com Call or Text 888.769.7956 partnerships@promedxp.com Pro edx . 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We select only the most proven, effective, patient and comfort-focused technologies. • CEREC Same-Day Crowns • Implants • iCAT 3D X-Ray/Digital X-Rays • Modern Periodontal Care • Hard/Soft Tissue Laser • Mercury-free Practice • Pinhole Gum Rejuvenation • TMD/TMJ Support • Conscious Sedation • Fountain of Youth Dentures • KöR ® Teeth Whitening Services and products we o er: 760.568.3602 44239 Monterey Avenue • Palm Desert PalmDesertSmiles.com Follow us! My favorite psychologist, John Gottman, PhD, has studied relationships throughout his career. In his “Love Lab,” the world’s first couple’s laboratory which opened in 1986 at the University of Washington, he has studied over 3,000 couples. Because of this, he can predict within 15 minutes of an argument which marriages will end in divorce within the next six years. He puts the couples into one of two categories, either “Masters” or “Disasters,” and his predictions have had a 91 percent success rate. As he outlines in his New York Times bestseller, “The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work,” Gottman has seen four communication habits that increase the likelihood of divorce: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling. He calls these behaviors the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” in reference to the Bible’s Book of Revelations where conquest, war, hunger and death signal the end of times. However, Gottman’s four horsemen — criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling — signal the end of times for a relationship. Though most people use these habits from time to time in their relationships, the key is to recognize their use, quickly make repairs, and work toward using them less. Let’s take a deeper look at Gottman’s four horsemen, the behaviors most likely to damage a relationship: Redirecting Relationships from Disasters to Masters By Susan Murphy, PhD Behavioral health professionals, college professors and alumni from College of the Desert (COD) and California State University, San Bernardino Palm Desert (CSUSB), came together on Nov. 12 to inspire 200 students from six local high schools to pursue careers in health care, especially behavioral health and social work. The event, “Let’s Get Psyched!” was presented by Riverside University Health Systems – Behavioral Health (RUHS-BH), CSUSB, COD and OneFuture Coachella Valley’s behavioral health alignment team. Nisha Elliot, workforce education training manager for RUHS-BH, was the charismatic emcee, skillfully highlighting the wide variety of careers awaiting students and the positive impact they can make as behavioral health practitioners. The event kicked off by introducing students to ikigai, a Japanese concept for discovering your purpose by thinking about what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs and what you can get paid for. This theme was woven into presentations throughout the day as students toured CSUSB’s nursing and kinesiology labs and met college faculty in psychology, child development, social work and nursing street medicine. Students also heard fromCOD and CSUSB alumni who shared their behavioral health career journeys and what it’s like to now be working at places like Eisenhower Health and RUHS-BH. Presenters shared that there are medical positions in mental health like psychiatrist (MD), nurse practitioner (NP), and psychiatric technician, as well as allied mental health positions like psychologist (PhD, PsyD), licensed clinical therapist (LCSW, LMFT, LPCC), peer support specialist and family advocate. Students surveyed after the event said they found it valuable. One student shared, “I learned there are somany other fields related to psychology beyond therapy, and there are different psychologists needed in different industries including schools, districts, clinics and social work. It helpedme discover other jobs I could pursue revolving around psychology, which is my preferred field.” “I was especially inspired by one person describing their journey,” expressed another student. “They started their career later in life, and if someone had told them this was possible 10 years earlier when their life was falling apart, they wouldn’t have believed them. That idea stuck with me, that, regardless of hard times, you should always keep going and should never give up.” Learn more about the event by visiting https://bit.ly/GetPsychedCV. For more information on OneFuture Coachella Valley, visit www.onefuturecv.org or call (760) 625.0422. High school students take part in medical career days through local partnership programs. Students Get Psyched for Behavioral Health Careers By KimMcNulty