What if the greatest achievements in your life weren’t meant to be yours alone? There’s a beautiful concept in Africa, referred to as “Ubuntu.” Nelson Mandela once defined it as, “if we are to accomplish anything in this world, it will in equal measure be due to the work and achievement of others.” Put simply, “I am because we are.” This sentiment is more than a phrase; it’s a way of living that celebrates the strength, generosity and shared success of community. Within the Coachella Valley, there are many opportunities to gather with like-minded people and work together for a common goal that serves the greater good. When you set out to make a difference, your contributions create a ripple effect, which in turn creates a lasting impact. Doing so not only enriches our community, but each member that takes part as well. Women Leaders Forum (WLF) is one of those organizations. Members, volunteers, donors and sponsors come together to support the vision of empowering women leaders and investing in the next generation. If you attended our annual WLF Women Who Rule Awards and Scholarship Luncheon this past May, you witnessed “Ubuntu” in action when 32 high school seniors from the WLF Young Women Leaders program were recognized and awarded collegiate scholarships. These bright young women are now starting their freshman year and settling into their college dorms. They are fulfilling their dreams of higher education as a direct result of the dedicated people in our community. WLF kicks off its 2025-26 season with a celebration of appreciation for our generous supporters and partners in our mission to make a difference in the Coachella Valley. The season opening event takes place Thursday, September 4, at the Classic Club and is open to existing members and anyone interested in learning more. As our way of saying thank you, we are extending complimentary tickets to all current members, donors and sponsors. We are because of you. This season we are offering exciting new ways for our members to connect with one another. Subscribe to our newsletter to be among the first to know about monthly coffee meet-ups, networking events and bespoke experiences curated exclusively for members. This season, we will also host a WLF Business Expo in January to showcase the products and services of WLF businesswomen. If you are a woman, you are a leader. Together, we can make an impact. Eleanor (Elle) Oliver-Edmonds is the founder of Eleanor Oliver Coaching and president of Women Leaders Forum. To learn more and register for events, visit www.wlfdesert.org or contact them at info@wlfdesert.org. In the past, humility was a sought-after trait. Teaching children to be humble and selfless was prized and would hopefully keep arrogant, self-centeredness at bay. Loud, bold, overconfident behavior was dimmed by a modest, self-sacrificing approach. Today, we realize humility has a downside. Sacrificing one’s wants and needs for the sake of others can lead to issues with low self-worth. There’s been a shift to ensure we relay how special, talented and unique our children are, and that healthy self-esteem is a driving factor leading to success. But have we taken this too far? According to current social scientists, narcissism has become a modern epidemic, denoting a self-serving individual’s intense and over compensatory need for admiration and attention, an air of entitlement and a lack of empathy. Narcissists tend to display an ongoing disregard for other people’s sensitivities. That, coupled with a society which prizes fame, wealth and celebrity, can lead to a lifetime of pervasive mental, emotional and relational issues. Narcissists in relationships leave their partners emotionally bankrupt because the relationship is devoid of compromise and healthy reciprocity. Narcissists will use their partner as a tool to reflect their own grandiose, magnificent brilliance back to them. Their terminal uniqueness allows for an insidious spiral into an inflated, selfinvolved, vainglorious hole. Individuals involved with a narcissist wonder why they are mentally and emotionally spent after the air has been sucked out of the room. Gaslighting is a common tactic used by a narcissist; making someone else feel crazy is a honed, manipulative tool. In a relationship with a narcissist and want to stay focused on your own selfcare and well-being? Here are a few ways to ensure that your life’s purpose is full and fulfilling: • Establish healthy boundaries that clearly define which behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable. Utilize the “broken record technique.” Boundaries might need repetition without explaining, justifying, rationalizing, minimizing, or overgeneralizing. Envision a protective circle around you, and imagine only letting in things of value while keeping out toxicities. • Practice emotional detachment with the gray rock method, where you become “emotionally unresponsive and neutral.” This can minimize a narcissist’s ability to get a rise out of you. • Just as the partner of an alcoholic receives support from Al-Anon, surround yourself with functionally healthy people. • Focus on self-care and the maintenance of a healthy sense of self to diminish the emotional chaos a narcissist brings to the table. • Therapy can facilitate your own emotional growth through exploration of your wounded child, family of origin issues, as well as current stressors, helping you learn how to navigate and cultivate a healthy core adult self. Melanie Tonia Evans, an expert on narcissistic behavior states that, “narcissists are energy vampires. They feed on the emotional energy that you supply them with. Act like they have no power over you and your life, and they won’t.” As with anything toxic in your life, freedom comes from within. A narcissist can only go so far. Empower yourself to do the rest. In a relationship with “a sea of me?” There is a way to set your spirit free. Dr. Amy Austin is a licensed marriage and family therapist (MFC#41252) and doctor of clinical psychology in Rancho Mirage. She can be reached at (760) 774.0047. www.DesertHealthNews.com September/October 2025 Natural Options The Valley's Leading Resource for Health and Wellness 9 WLF members unite for a sense of community and a common cause. www.livewellclinic.org 760.771.5970 78900 Ave. 47, Suite 102 • La Quinta info@livewellclinic.org www.livewellclinic.org @LiveWellClinicLaQuinta @LiveWellClinic Sonja Fung, ND Naturopathic Doctor Medical Director Live Happy, Live Well Offering Telemedicine Naturopathic Primary Care ProLon FMD (Intermittent Fasting Diet) Photodynamic Therapy Sound Baths Last Wednesday of each month $30/person MYOFASCIAL RELEASE The Missing Link To Authentic Healing For the Treatment of: • Headaches/Migraines • TMJ • Neck and Back Pain • Fibromyalgia • Carpal Tunnel • Plantar Fasciitis • Neurological Conditions Benefits Include: • Decreased Pain • Decreased Inflammation • Increased Range of Motion • Increased Mobility • Increased Circulation • Improved Posture • Improved Mood & Cognition 760.895.5145 online scheduling at: https://gina-malloy.clientsecure.me Gina M. Malloy, PT, MS Licensed Physical Therapist Offering Specialized Treatment for Women’s Health Issues Including, but not limited to: Endometriosis • Bladder Incontinence Mastectomy Pain and Scars Coming Together to Make a Difference By Elle Oliver-Edmonds Will Loving a Narcissist Break Me? Understanding the emotional toll By Amy Austin, LMFT
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