Your Villa - Desert Cities - June-July - 2022

They are mindful when striking up meaningful conversation with the variety of guests they serve. It takes a real knack to know when to lead conversation and when to back off. German so aptly said that communication is much like dancing… sometimes you lead… and sometimes you allow yourself to be led. He submits to his guest to determine the pace of conversation. Lastly, my favorite question I posed to these Gents was regarding “regulars” and how they perceive them in comparison to newcomers. I couldn’t help but think of the retired sitcom, Cheers. “Norm” bellied up each day to the Cheers bar for many of the same reasons that these 4 bartenders attract their regular guests. He felt heard, understood, empathized with and entertained. If you are looking to be served more than just your favorite libation, look no further than to these Genial Gents as they have proven to be a great resource with a wide variety of feedback to offer. Every bar has at least one “Norm”- the popular character on the old sitcom, Cheers agrees all 4 Gents. They say it brings a source of comfort and regularity to their shift. Having one humorous customer that sits in the same spot each day and talks about the same 2-3 subjects and is very particular about how their drink is served. D I N I N G + E N T E R T A I N M E N T Mixology + Psychology: These 4 Genial Gents Serve Up Libations Mixed with a Special Ingredient by Elizabeth Scarcella When considering who you seek life advice from, maybe your first thought is a therapist or your best friend. However, research shows that we prefer to spill our guts to a bartender instead. As shocking as this might sound, the reason is quite understandable. When we are struggling with life’s dilemmas (divorce, naughty kids, sick parents or a crappy boss), we prefer to open up to a non- judgmental, impartial, affable professional. Yet, we don’t always have to meet with a therapeutic specialist to feel better. Instead, we can cozy up to one of these Coachella Valley bars and imbibe in a cocktail mixed with a special ingredient, one that sets these Genial Gents apart from others. What these 4 local Bartenders offer is a very necessary skill set they’ve honed over the years to help their customers. That skillset is listening. By adding this special ingredient, they create a vibe that leads their customers to feel not only heard, but understood. In addition, they have learned to listen in a way that they not only hear what is being said, but seek to understand and then reflect back what they heard. This style of listening, called reflective listening, is what Joe, Dennis, Cliff and German all have in common which makes them not only expert mixologists but also compassionate thoughtful confidantes. Apart from their ability to be reflective listeners, these service industry professionals working in high paced bars thrive on pumping out drinks fast. They love the rush of a hopping bar. What seems like a dichotomy, is actually a norm for these men who are able to keep up the hustle all while being able to intently focus on listening to their customer’s concerns. Joe, bartender at Wildest Restaurant and Bar, says that being behind the bar is like being in his element. Although hard to imagine for some, Joe says he feels very peaceful at work and finds it to be his sanctuary and a place for creative expression. Dennis, also working at Wildest, echos Joe’s sentiments. He states that meeting new people everyday perpetuates a party-like atmosphere which drives him to work long days, seemingly never tiring after spending over 38 years in the food & beverage industry. Whereas, German, who has worked in industries other than food & beverage service, has returned to the hospitality world as co-owner of LaFe along with his business partner, Rich Rayos. German expressed they wanted to create a chill wine bar vibe, like they experienced at 3rd Corner Bistro before it closed down. German prides himself in welcoming people of all ages and goes out of his way to serve 90 year olds with the same care as those in their early 20’s. He says making a connection with each person is what builds the neighborly feel you experience when you walk into LaFe. Cliff shares with the 3 other Genial Gents in appreciating that being a good listener is not natural to people. In order to become one, you must become interested in other’s stories, ask open ended questions and be concerned and empathetic to what your guest might be feeling. Cliff reminds us first and foremost, people need to say what’s on their mind and we need to remember when giving advice to think what is best for that person, not what you might think is right for them-an important distinction, for sure. Joe, Dennis, Cliff and German wholeheartedly believe that building rapport takes time and consistency. Elizabeth Scarcella, ABD, FDN-P, EFT, EMDR, C.HT , a Stress & Anxiety Expert, helps female professionals build resilience in order to become calm, confident and capable. For consultation, reach her at (407) 310-5228. 42 | YourVilla Magazine